Take a Break!: Reductress

I don’t know about the rest of you but I am exhausted!  I was going to write a bit more of a thoughtful post this week but I just don’t have the thoughts.   I’m currently sitting at my desk, on my Friday (Thursday), trying to stay awake for 2 more hours so I can go home.  After consuming multiple bottles of wine yesterday at the inaugural East Van Feminist Book Club (more to come), I am slightly hungover but mostly just really tired.  My brain can’t function at the moment to write patents or analyze data.  Who likes to procrastinate? Me! Me! Me! Here is a fun site which takes little brain power, The Reductress.   The Reductress is like the Onion for women.  It has the best kind of humour that always has a grain of truth in it.  Here are a few that I found on the site today.  Click the image to go through to the article.

Eggnog cleanse just in time for the holidays!

Eggnog cleanse just in time for the holidays!

 

Bah ha! I love making fun of cleanses and I love eggnog.  My apologies if you have “cleansed” yourself before but they aren’t for me. I like food and as a scientist I have a hard time believing in the science behind “cleansing”.  I am more a proponent of colon hydrotherapy, so relaxing!  If I want to clean something, I’ll clean my house; or at least think about cleaning my house.

If I had given birth at work I probably would have chosen in the 25 degree incubation room with the chemical shower on.

If I had given birth at work, I probably would have chosen the 25 degree incubation room with the safety shower on.

 

This is a great example of how they get nuggets of truth in their humour.  Feeling guilty about being pregnant at work?  Feeling guilty about taking maternity leave?  How about feeling self-conscious cause you look like a waddling beached whale around the office trying not to have Bob from Marketing notice how enormous your boobs are.

Any of them will do!

Any of them will do!

 

If you think that everyone you dated in your 20’s was amazing and did not have large red warning flags smacking you in the face then just stop reading this now.  I think you belong on private site for people with butterflies flying out of their butt.

If you haven't done this, you aren't female.

If you haven’t done this, you aren’t female.

 

This is a great illustration that we do not live in a post-sexist society.  Women still walk in fear, late at night, rushing to get our keys out and get in the door.   The Reductress pokes fun at these feminist dilemmas in a great way.

Good thing my baby was trendy, phew!

Good thing babies were trendy in 2013, Phew!

 

Here’s another one for us Moms.  Such a dilemma going from all the cute maternity wear and rocking that baby bump to delivering a baby and having to wear (gasp!) sweat pants for 6 months.  I hope you sense my sarcasm.  I rock sweats on the regular with pride and did not have a cute baby bump. Unless you think gaining 50 pounds is cute.

 

Me in 200 pounds of glory.

Me and  200 pounds of glory.  Double chins ain’t cute.  But getting a Ph.D. allowed me to wear a floppy Renaissance hat, which was so on trend for 2013.

 

I hope this site has brought a smile to your face or at the very least, you can make fun of me in my pregnant enormity. I will be sleeping at my desk if anyone needs me.

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