GIFTS OF GOLD

The gold of the trees shimmer
Against the pale blue sky
There comes the sound of your laughter
Pushing me over the edge
Cozy in your embrace against the sharp wind
Autumn changes, and chants
From birds flying south
I feel love overtake my heart
Gifts of gold
In between the trees

Why fear the cold and the rain
When I have you to love?
Why look to the spring
When no day is guaranteed?
What is it that pulls me to concern
Of rainy days that hold great treasures
Of adventure and love
Of madness and magic?

I breathe the cold air into my lungs
And although the body remembers
The cold months ahead
It also forgives, and for the love of life
Releases the past
Like golden leaves, flying in the wind.

 

Do you find yourself fearful of the months of rain and damp cold ahead of us? Are you someone who is impacted by the change in seasons and the grey skies of fall and winter? Maybe you are even concerned about SAD setting in? Vancouverites may know what I am talking about.

Each year when October rolls around, I am reminded of my first year living in Canada. Experiencing Vancouver’s rainy autumn for the very first time left a damp and cold impression on my physical and emotional body. But even if those memories were not present, knowing that what is ahead is a solid five months of grey and rain and damp cold can be enough to bring me to feelings of worry and general negativity.

October 10th was World Mental Health Day, and so this week I found myself reflecting on the importance of being active in de-stigmatizing mental health issues more than usual. It is not uncommon for people with a history of depression to feel down in the dumps when the weather turns grey and cold and as someone who has a history of depression, I find myself walking the thin line between the winter blues and hope, almost daily. I am grateful for my meditation and writing practices that help me to live mindfully and joyfully even when challenging days present themselves.

As a poet, metaphors often come to me and save the day. And, today I sit here feeling so grateful for fall. For the season that teaches me how to let go. That teaches me there is power and joy in releasing, that rain will quench thirsts I do not know I have, and wash away what I am willing to let go of. So the work is mine to own. By being aware of the emotions and body memories that come up during this time of the year, I am able to make new choices and release all that no longer serves me. Even if some emotions and experiences are cyclical and seasonal, they do not have to run my life. I am in choice. How beautiful is that? These are the gifts of gold.

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